I don't know no James Brown, but at least I know who James Dean is.

Last night I thought our hotel was being shot at, but it was really just thunder.

This morning I thought I was dying because of a creepy dream I had.

This afternoon I took the metro to the city again to check out two of the busiest museums before Memorial Day weekend really hits hard.

When I got off the metro I noticed this awkward looking girl with a grinning overbite and jittery disposition. She looked so out of her element and fascinated me. When I got to the Natural History museum I turned around only to see her standing right behind me in line. She kept catching my eye, and I noticed her amazing metal robot necklace. She told me it was from "A young Russian designer" and that she liked my "cap" and then "All of you actually. You just look so beautiful." I always knew that Russians were badass because of Andre Kirilenko. She must have been related to him.

To be honest, I got really bored of that museum. I got kind of sad seeing all the dead animals stuffed and hanging there, but I guess it was worth it. I tried to block out all of the "Oooh, just like Night at the Museum!" comments and learn more about evolution in the special Charles Darwin exhibit. Perhaps I can brew up a pot of chamomile and have a war with my tea party roommates about it.

My favorite part of the museum was a comment I overheard spoken by a true hillbilly. "Look man," he said to his chubby sidekick while pointing to an exhibit of extinct animals similar to ones that are alive today. "Look at the old-fashioned rhino!!" Old fashioned? I don't think animals go in or out of fashion unless you are speaking of fur coats or leopard prints. I think what actually happens is that SPECIES DIE. It's a cruel world, kiddo. Go to the Charles Darwin exhibit. I know it involves a lot of reading and there aren't as many stuffed kritters, but I think you can/should handle it.

I then ventured to the American History museum where I heard a little girl point to Mary Lincoln's dress and Ham Lincoln's suit while saying to her little sister, "I'll be the princess, and you be the prince." The baby sister got mad because she didn't want to be a boy. Doesn't she know that "prince" was Abe Lincoln? I'd definitely rather be the boy in that case. The mother got mad because I don't know, she had a broom handle up her ass and hates hearing her children interact with each other? So far I've learned a valuable lesson that I hope I always remember. Either I am never having children, or I am raising them in such a way that I allow them to say funny things without barking at them, teach them what it means to be old-fashioned, and be honest with them. Instead of saying, "Stop doing that. It's disrespectful," when your kid is climbing all over a display case, why not say, "Hey. Don't climb on that because that's a rule of the museum. It's a rule because behind that glass is valuable stuff, and we don't want to make the glass dirty so that other people can see what is inside." I think that would teach them more effectively what respect really means. It's like I probably wouldn't just say, "Hey don't kill people. It's not nice." I'd probably say something like, "Hey don't kill people because if you do you'll go to jail or maybe even hell, and you probably wouldn't like it if someone killed you. Plus that person has a family and life, and life is kind of a big deal."

I also saw Kermit, Dorothy's slippers, the Fonz's jacket, James Brown's suit that says "sex" across the waist like a cumberbund, Abe Lincoln's hat that says "sex" across the hat band, Hilary Clinton's super ugly shiny blue dress, a bunch of war stuff, the flag that inspired the Star Spangled Banner, and much more. I just wonder why asians always think it is a good idea to film everything. You're really going to watch your trip through the museum in the future? Pictures save you some time when you're feeling nostalgic, and you can crop out all the other tourists. Whatever. Also, little girls should HAVE to know who James Dean is, but sadly I found out today that they don't. Aren't their grandma's or older moms teaching them anything?

I ended the day with a little blonde 4ish year old boy flipping me the bird with his tongue sticking out, and a bowl of spaghetti. Tomorrow I am set on finding a good farmer's market or something.